Living the “At Most Life:” Five Keys to Finding Your Success

Will Shakespeare had it right! In his play As You Like It, he wrote, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts.”   Many people on life’s stage spend their days just getting by. They enter the stage trying to just fit in, afraid to shine too much light. Even though we all have been endowed with brilliant talents and gifts, many people are too consumed with fear to allow others to see them. They have become too comfortable in repeating what they know. Experiencing the best in life is merely a dream to them. These people perform the role of what I call the At Least Actor. Often, you will hear them lament about their work: “We’ll at least I have a job.” “At least I have a roof over my head.” “Vacation is coming soon. At least I will have a few days off.” “At least we’re getting a little raise next year!” In relationships, they say things like: “He yells but at least he does not beat me.” “She always has the television on but at least she does not stay out all the time anymore.”  These people move through life not savoring the awesome possibilities that life offers to all of us. The practice of living life out full in what I call an At Most Life.

An At Most Actor looks for the best in life. She doesn’t wait to stumble upon positive relationships. She creates them! Instead of singing the Monday-morning-back-to-work-blues, she builds a work experience that feels more like play time. The At Most Person/Individual looks for ways to demonstrate his most brilliant talents. Whether in the board room, on the sales floor, on the stage singing or working communities, he knows that the most important outcomes of his performance yields joy, builds positive relationships, makes communities, creates abundance, and solves problems. The At Most Individual is looking for ways to squeeze the most out of life. He might be the one that you see who looks forward to showing up at work, he doesn’t complain about his job, laughs a lot and surrounds himself with other positive people. Most times, the difference between the At Least Actor and the At Most Actor consists of slight adjustments. In my practice as a coach, I often work with clients to make the slight adjustments that facilitate them in experiencing tremendous change in their lives. The five most important adjustments to improved performance consist of setting the proper stage, seeing the vision, writing the story, building a supporting cast, and consistent rehearsals.

  1. Clearing the clutter, and negative pasts can make the difference between a dull experience and a brilliant one. The At Most Actor knows that in any given moment lies the possibility to create something new and wonderful. She doesn’t carry the past into the future. She sets the proper stage so that she can excel.
  2. Every self-help book ever written most likely prescribed the notion of creating the vision that you want to see. The At Most Actor knows the truth of this principle and makes the time to be quiet to envision the world that he wants to see. He knows that first the actualization of his dreams happen in his mind.
  3. One of the reoccurring memes in popular psychology today says to “change your story and change your life.” The truth of the matter is that for every society around the world, if you can identify their original myth, you can predict their future. If we keep telling ourselves the same old story, we can expect to get the same old results. The At Most Actor is willing to experience a new story. They are willing to start again, and sometimes, again and again and again, until they are satisfied with the results. They know that the story that they tell about their life resonates into the world.
  4. All the Academy Award winners talk about the fact that they could not have given their dynamic performance alone. The usually always thank the supporting cast. The At Most Actor knows to surround himself with the positive forces that support the vision that he wants to manifest in his world.
  5. Finally, the At Most Actor dreams of a magnificent performance but she knows that how she prepares determines her final performance. The idea of stepping outside of their comfort zones scares the life out of the At Least Actor. Going beyond the confines of the comfort zone also frightens the At Most Player but she goes outside anyway because she knows that the directions for greatness lie outside the walls of the comfort zone. The At Most Individual doesn’t try for her grand performance in one try but she knows that by taking small rehearsals towards greatness, she can eventually master the gifts that the entire world is waiting to see. Her rehearsals become her habits.

The option to live the At Most Life exists for us all. The difference between those who actually live life to the fullest and those just get by lies in choice. For those seeking the At Most Life, life is waiting to surrender all its gifts but only to those who choose.


Lessons of Transformation from

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.    Oscar Wilde

Who do you dream as your supporting cast?   Often, we believe that we are born into this world with a certain predisposition. We ask ourselves, “Why couldn’t I have been born with THAT family?”  “Why couldn’t I have been born rich and beautiful?”  We believe that we were born to struggle. We convince ourselves that we were born to not have what we want or that we cannot be who we dream to be. We insist on living out our lives based on our previous experiences. And, there are times when we are inspired to change a story. Our greatness shines only when we are willing to change. None of us were born without the ability to transform. Our society is filled with institutions that insist on our stasis, our staying the same. In reality, we were all born to soar in our own unique way.  Within the noise of all these messages, what role do you play?  Do you play the victim or the victor, the enabled or the enabler, the giver or the taker, the lightness or the darkness?  Who are the relationships that support who you say you are in your drama?

Like a Hollywood blockbuster movie, one of the greatest steps that we can take in creating the masterpiece called “our lives,” begins in the casting process. Who have you cast in the leading role of your life?  Who have you cast as the supporting cast? If you have not cast yourself in the leading role, then stop and start again. If your life is filled with a cast of characters who take from your successes, then stop and start again. Loving yourself as a leading character does not mean that you become self-centered, unconcerned or not compassionate. Unless you can love yourself, you cannot love others.  You are worthy, no matter who you are.  In order to affirm the truth of who you are as worthy, one of the secrets of success is to surround yourself with those who will energize and fuel your dream.   Someone once said, “A friend will remind you who you really are.”  They will remind you of your dreams and your worthiness.  Begin to surround yourself with those who remind you who you really are and watch your life transform!

One of the most relevant aspects of our lives is the competition to define your narrative or story. In any modern city, we can find in the bombardment of messages. From electronic billboards to salesman on street corners with flashing signs to radio commercials to banners flashing on Internet pages to the pulpit on Sunday. Television programming is filled with messages to win over your own personal narrative. Messages from pharmaceutical companies that remind us of your need to prepare for illnesses, with countless side effects, even death. In previous times, churches lined every street corner. Nowadays, drug stores and pharmacies are on each corner.  They have become our temples of worship.   We have become a society that worships illnesses rather than healthy living.  We have become a society obsessed with finding cures outside of ourselves.

With all of these negative messages, having a supporting cast that recognizes your strengths, your hopes, dreams and desires, become imperative.  A good supporting cast will drown out all the negative noise of modern life.  Someone once said, “A friend is someone who will remind you who you really are.”  Your strong supporting cast will remind you of your wonder, your power and your worthiness.  They will see great things in you that you had long forgotten.  So, if your supporting cast does not lift you up in this way, I say it is time for a new cast of characters in your life. Your supporting cast is your first step towards greatness.

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A noble person attracts noble people and knows how to hold onto them. Goethe